At 22h15 this evening I would have been a father to Daniel James Choles for exactly one year.

Happy birthday my boy.

You’re down for a nap now (on the afternoon we were meant to spend together), and if there’s one thing I’ve learnt in the last year it is to capitalise on opportunities when they present themselves. Sleep when you sleep, etc.  So, I’m using this time to reflect on our journey together so far as father and son.

As I think of my life so far, I have to rank the memory of delivering you on 4th April 2010 as one of the most amazing highlights. Yes, I delivered you.

Well, I helped at least. I put my hands around your body and helped pull you out of the womb in those seconds in which you transitioned into this world.

Last night I sat down to work through all the video footage we have of your first year. Your mom and I are putting a dvd together for the family of all the significant events and moments they may have missed. Your first smile. Sitting for the first time. Standing for the first time. Rolling over. Your first few steps. The list goes on.

I have found life taking on a different hue in those moments. Nothing else seemed to matter.

While fatherhood is a massive task, I have tried to be gentle, encouraging and fun. There are however two things that I see as being critical in our times together in the future:

A motivational speaker recently said that the father’s job is to ensure that his children retain a sparkle in their eye. This sums up what fatherhood is about for me, but I don’t have a clue how to keep that sparkle you have at the moment.

At some stage or another I will cease to be your hero. This is how life is. You will at some point see (quite clearly I’m sure) all my faults (which you had not seen before). Again, I don’t have a clue how to prepare for that moment, but I am trusting that by that stage you would only see my as your earthly father. That, by then, you would have discovered who your real Daddy is, Yahweh.

I pray for Our Lord’s strength and guidance as we journey together in life, one step at a time.

I love you Daniel.